Fuck with awareness
Why is it that some men lose all the interest, love, time and respect after they have conquered what they desired? (Our pussy)
And why don’t women respond in kind? We still reply to their messages, we still care and listen to their problems. We pick up the phone in the middle of the night, we find the right words to say when they had a shitty day. Very often, the more promiscuous the woman, the worse men treat her. It’s as if they think a slut has no emotions and needs or deserves to be disrespected.
That promiscuous highly sexual girl, after all, is a woman with motherly instincts, strong emotions and a big heart for everything and everyone that needs her love. Because that is how us women are born. We are born to care and love no matter the levels of our libido!
Why does it seem that men and women have two completely different ways of treating the human beings that we have been so intimate with? I believe I’ve found the answer.
It hasn’t happened very often, but the few times that guys have ghosted me right after we had sex are very memorable and burned into my consciousness like it was yesterday.
The first one, I was 18 years of age, was with a guy I had a massive crush on. I dont remember what he was actually doing with his life but he played some kind of role in one of the most popular and very trendy clubs in the city I grew up in. We all knew he was hyper- and bisexual and very egotistical. But obviously it was exactly that which caught my eye. I purposely decided to go on a few dates, before being intimate with him because I already had a gut feeling he´d treat me like shit in the long run. Actually I was told to be careful too.
Did I listen? Of course not. One night I got very drunk and made the mistake to call him because I was out of any self-control and very horny. I went to his pad and we fucked. The up and down movement made me feel sick. And then they made me be sick. Onto him. Yes I threw up on him while I was riding him. I mean, this could possibly have something to do with him ghosting me right after – but on the other hand i was a really nice and interesting person besides that little dilemma. I dont think its a reason to mug someone off
The other more recent experience was just as painful and took me nearly as long to swallow. 12 years and so much experience and more self-confidence later, the feeling it causes is still similar. I slept with someone I had met 8 years earlier in Thailand. Young English lad, back then he was a proper geezer and tried to sleep with as many girls as possible. And women. And cougars such as my 45 year old American friend, who I caught fucking in the pool one night. That image will stay with me forever. Anyway, of course he tried desperately to get with me but I had no interest whatsoever. we stayed in touch and I assume that the desire to get with me grew by every year that he didnt get what he wanted. Until last november – I gave in.
I was drunk again when I texted him (do you also see a possible pattern now?). He was now in his end 20s and apparently just broke up with a girlfriend. Hed become more attractive and had was a coorpartaive in a suit which I find very sexy as I find money very sexy. Very, very sexy. So it happened on my red sofa in that fancy flat in Shad Thames I used to live in. We had dirty and very drunk sofa sex. Mainly missionary which was very satisfying as he had a beautiful rather long and upward curved penis. Before I was able to ride him, which generally makes me quite happy, he came. Okay, whatever. I thought it was good sex and also good talk. Well as good as it could possibly be with us being that shit faced. I told him he was welcome to leave and so he left and disappeared out of my flat and life forever leaving only his used boxers behind.
Of course I messaged him after, but he never replied. He read the messages but just didnt answer. To this day I can’t find an explanation why but I have realized that it is a thing. It even has a name – ghosting. So i stopped torturing myself by trying to find answers and accepted the fact that its just something people do and it becomes more popluar it seems.
Who is roxy…?
However, just because it’s normal doesn’t mean its okay. I would like to tell you my fellow ghosting brothers, this is not how we would like to be treated. we have opened up to you a lot more than you may understand. When a woman sleeps with a man, she lets him enter her body and with that she opens heart and mind – and there’s no way of avoiding that (trust me, I’ve tried)… This is exactly the reason why we want to be close after we have had sex. Because to us it is not just sex, we have emotionally and spiritually become close to you.
To put it simply, when a man rams his dick into a woman’s body, it’s a movement that from a purely mechanical point of view, transfers his energy to her. If you want to stay proper logical, think of Newton’s third law; every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So any physical movement of yours will have a physical reaction of the woman’s body. body and mind (emotions) are connected, are actually one. So from an emotional point of view, depending on the pace of that movement and the way you hold and look at her, brings an emotional reaction in the woman.
To be more specific, she can feel loved, held and taken care of and she can also feel hurt or abused or even hated. If you fuck her without looking into her eyes or without kissing her – she could feel ignored or disliked. She will feel like all you care about is her vagina. While all she is, is her soul. Her complex mind. Her whirlwind of emotions that she still hasn’t learned to control. And in this very moment she is reduced to one part of her body, like she actually doesn’t even exist. If you fuck her hard, with strong deep thrusts but your hands, looks and voice let her know you’re doing it because she likes it – she will feel ecstatic, she will probably reach strong orgasms and dopamine and adrenaline will rush through her body.
And if you hold her face, look into her eyes, don’t stop giving her sensual kisses and fuck her real slow being aware of every single time your dick enters and leaves her pussy – you are doing tantra. And she will not only reach tantric orgasms but higher conscious states of her whole being. Whole body orgasms. She will probably cry because this is an overwhelming feeling of love and joy.
Let’s call the play of action and reaction when happening with awareness, physical communication. Our bodies understand and communicate so much to one another, that if we are in tune with our partners they can respond to and reciprocate intense complex emotions with the right kind of touch.
I am not saying, that the way we hold and treat a man during sex has no impact on his emotional state of being. But there are clear differences, culturally and physically that seem to make men less conscious or connected to the emotional responsibility of fucking.
So I don’t kindly ask you to be aware of how you have sex and how you treat a woman after you have had sex with her – I beg you. The more attentive and conscious we are with one another, the better humanity will be.
Please be aware, next time you sleep with a woman, of your intentions and feeling and thoughts towards her. Be caring, be respectful, be honest – not only during sex but also after because she will feel like she has given you a lot of herself. Don’t diminish it by pretending to not have time to answer her call or text back.
To borrow from Antoine de Saint-Exupery’s classic The Little Prince, “You are responsible forever for what you have tamed”. If we enter an intimate connection with another human being, we are responsible for how they feel during and outside of that experience.
Let’s be caring and respectful adults here, and take that responsibility seriously.